unfair

I think I sometimes think if I had flowers or a teddy bear or a boyfriend to tell me I am beautiful, then I would be happy. I don’t say that outright, of course not, because that would imply that I am trying to find satisfaction in things apart from Christ. So, I might not say it with words. I say it with the way I act.

I say it when I scowl at the Facebook picture of the couple getting engaged. I say it when I give dirty looks to the girl who brings home flowers from the boy who loves her. I say it when I spend all too often wallowing in self-pity because “what if I never get married?” or “how is this fair?”

It’s not fair, in fact. But not in the whiney “that’s not fair” that I squeak out when I scroll through another Facebook proposal album. It’s unfair because no one deserves those things. To be frank, we all deserve hell. The bible says, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23) and that “the wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23). But yet, here we are. Eyes that see and ears that hear and arms that move and hearts that love and feel and pump blood through our whole bodies. How dare I, selfishly, think I deserve anything more than the greatness of grace that God has already lavished upon me. God may give me a husband or he may not, but God has already blessed me far beyond what I deserve. He gave me the gift of his son! We say it all the time like some type of Sunday school robot, but it does not make it any less true or any less potent! God gave me a gift far beyond flowers or a teddy bear, and for that I am blessed beyond all belief.


Here's a post that inspired the above. I'd encourage you to check it out:

http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/ask-pastor-john/what-has-been-your-biggest-spiritual-struggle-and-how-did-you-get-victory